Names of God
(May Lighting Not Strike Me)
Giving out the names of God on a site such as this is a tricky
subject. First, I believe in God, maybe not your God, but a God.
Second, I was taught not to make fun of God or take God's name
in vain.
My conflict comes in because this is a humor site first and foremost.
Yes, I do give serious answers and then I give out the humorous
counterpart. This is how the website is structured. In fact, the
term, "God" has several meanings dependent upon whom
you ask.
I know I have to tread lightly when giving out the names of God.
I don't want to be sacrilegious and at the same time I don't want
to be a lame rule follower. Millions of people get sensitive around
religious issues and some will get quite aggressive. The meaning
of God varies from person to person and so does their personal
investment in their own God.
So, just to be clear, that on this page my intension is to first
illuminate by giving out the real names of God used by the different
major religious of the world. And my second intention is to entertain
through humor the names of God that should be forbidden in all
literature and forbidden ever to be spoken about again. In fact,
my list is of the names of God that should be denounced and I
give you full permission to do this.
Names of God
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Traditional Names of God
God
Jehovah
Elohm
Yahweh
Holy One
Almighty
Alpha
Amen
Arm of the Lord
Beginning
Bright Morning Star
Chief Shepherd
Christ
Commander
Creator
Deliverer
Eternal God
Everlasting Father
Lord
Good Shepherd
Holy Spirit
Horn of Salvation
Immanuel
Jesus
King of Kings
Lamb of God
Light of the World
Lord of Lords
Merciful God
Messiah
Nazarene
Omega
Prince of Peace
Prophet
Righteous One
Ruler Over Israel
Savior
Spirit of God
Teacher
Truth
Wisdom of God
Word of God
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Names of God that should be
denounced
Oh, Mighty Smiter
Larry
El Gordo
Creatorish
One Who Doesn't Answer My Prayers
Orson
Jehovawicz
Elohim or Her
Almighty Mouse
Alpha Male
Lawdy
Big Chief Shepherd
Commando
Flock Meister
God the Feather
Father of the Bride
Deliverance
Eternal Dog
Bruce Almighty
Evan Almighty
Sequel Almighty
Good Sam Shepherd
Sheep-Meister
Holy One and a Two
Holy Spirit High Proof Winemaker
Jesus Jiminez
Judge Judy
King of Duke of Earl
Lamb Chop of God
Lord of the Rings
Messiah Pariah
They Call the Wind Messiah
Omega Fish Oil
Only Begotten Son of a *#@&!
Prince of Peace Corps
Prophet at a Loss
Savior Coupons
Allah Schmalla
Bhagwaan Lady
Waheguru Sue
Buddha Buddy
The Donald
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As you can see by these lists there are both traditional names
of God plus names of God that should be denounced and never spoken
of again. Please don't send me hate mail because of this. God
would not want that.
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